Giving Myself Grace As I Grow
As I continue to grow and evolve, I’m also healing past wounds and ancestral baggage.
The women (and some men) in my family have some very, very strong superhuman tendencies that have kept them and their families same for generations.
And yet, I was still carrying them with me when in reality I didn’t need them.
Yes, they have kept me safe too AND they were really out of balance.
Since I became aware of my very strong superwoman (about 6 years ago), I have shifted many of the beliefs and fears that drive that part of me. I started really working on this when I was pregnant with our son. My first full term pregnancy and I was a bag of nerves in the beginning. I could not fathom what it was going to be like - but really, do any of us know that? No, we don’t. We don’t really know how we will emotionally be after giving birth, we don’t know what the child will be like either. So I had all this worry and what-ifs floating around my head. I began to unpack those over the 9 months of carrying our son.
Then with our daughter 2 years later, I shifted even more.
Fast forward another 2 years. My business is growing, I am also working part-time as an online business manager for a spiritual healing business, oh and I homeschool our kids. Those what-ifs came rushing back in AND the hows! How on earth am I going to do all of this?
In the middle of our kitchen I was unraveling. I was on the verge of tears and needed a moment, but I wasn’t going to get that moment because I was home with just the kids. So I got them set up with a craft activity and went back into the kitchen. I needed to capture a mini-moment for myself.
I closed my eyes, I put my hands on my heart, and I breathed. I needed to ground myself. I breathe out all the doubts and not-good-enoughs, and breathed in the truth that I am good enough just as I am right now AND I trust that I am exactly where I’m meant to be. I did this over the course of 15 minutes because I kept getting interrupted by our 2 year old and 4 year old. I had to soothe the part of me that wanted to give up because I couldn’t do it in one fell swoop.
“Mini-moments of self-love, encouraging self-talk, and self-nurturing add up!
It’s not all or nothing. It’s finding the gray and the in-betweens. It’s giving ourselves grace.
We can care for ourselves in the transitions of our day, in the pauses, AND in the bigger chunks of time we carve out for ourselves.
Be gentle with yourself.”
In the end, I realized how much my superhuman wanted to do everything and do it all in that moment! PHEW! Talk about exhausting and completely unrealistic. This drive to push through everything so that it was done and then I could relax was a huge red flag that my superwoman was out of balance. She didn’t want to be a mom that day. She didn’t want to BE. She wanted to DO and wasn’t taking no for an answer.
I soothed the heck out of her for the remainder of the day until it was time for my husband to come home and switch shifts.
And then I had to soothe her even MORE because she wanted to jump right into work. I received such strong guidance to ease into work. To do something nurturing for myself. To rest. To have some creative fun. My superwoman did not like that. So we talked more and I reminded her that we’re safe and able to care for ourselves first. That we don’t need to push and strive, and we no longer need to participate in grind culture.
Since that day, 3 weeks ago now, I have been going through more healing shifts and it feels like the energy in October is moving so damn fast.
If you’re feeling this way too and just need a break, here are my intentions for the month (and the rest of 2024) that may help you too.
Consciously protect my peace and energy. This means not giving away my energy, not going on auto pilot, and asking for AND receiving support from my loved ones. It also means giving myself A LOT of GRACE. When times get tough, when my day doesn’t go as expected, when the kids are having hard days, you name it …. we all need more grace and compassion for ourselves.
Carving out time for me to just BE. This looks like me sitting quietly in my room or in nature or in a bath. Just me and my thoughts. I may be in prayer or meditation. Or I may simply be enjoying the silence. No matter what, I am connected to myself and disconnected from technology. This also looks like mini-moments of breathing in the kitchen or in the bathroom (door closed!) with my hands on my heart. *Mini-moments of self-love, encouraging self-talk, and self-nurturing add up! It’s not all or nothing. It’s finding the gray and the in-betweens. We can care for ourselves in the transitions of our day, in the pauses, AND in the bigger chunks of time we carve out for ourselves.
Reading/Creativity/Fun > Doom Scrolling. I love to read books. I love stories. I love being creative, writing poetry, playing flute, painting, having fun! What I don’t like is when I doom scroll and miss out on those things. So if I’m using social media, I set a time limit and do it because I’m enjoying it not as an avoidance tool.
Self Connection & Trust > Stuffing. When I start to feel overwhelmed and just plain done, I have ways of avoiding those big emotions. I can easily read an entire book in a week to avoid what I’m feeling. Yes, even the things I find nurturing can become a stuffing tool. I’m aware of that and help myself by putting everything down. I just stop whatever I’m doing so I can connect with myself. No ifs, ands, or buts. I lean into who I am and get comfy with my thoughts and emotions. I connect with myself, I trust myself and believe in myself through this process. Otherwise, I can easily lose sight of what my emotions and body are trying to tell me, and don’t hear the guidance from my Soul self. Hint hint: that grace and compassion comes into play here too. So do the mini-moments of connection.
God > Content Creators. I truly believe in something greater than us. We are all supported and guided and loved by something greater than us. I believe in God and that he knows what is in store for me. That all is happening for me in divine time. Trusting and leaning into this truth, for me, helps me even when I’m doubting myself. This also means I’m not looking for the answers from other content creators. I definitely follow some amazing accounts and love to learn from them, but in the end I need to do what’s best for me. If I consume too much of someone else’s ideas and insights, then I am unable to connect with God because it’s like I’m trying to fit any guidance I receive into the framework of someone else’s thinking. I regularly clear our who I follow depending on what I’m feeling and make sure to ground and connect with my soul and God daily (multiple times a day) so that I stay in alignment with my truest heart’s desires.
As I grow, heal, shift, evolve, learn, etc … I know I’ll add some things to this list, but I hope these 5 stay and continue to be part of my tool box for the future.
Much love 🩷
